Cullens still behaving badly
by bizzabel
Summary: behaving badly sums it all up... ten years after Esme and Carlilse first treat themselves to a little r&r the promise is kept and they sneak away again. Laughs ensured, diaries, wolves, wallabies, and our favourite characters all grown up...
1. Chapter 1

**This is the sequel to CULLENS BEHAVING BADLY – reading that first would be best, but not necessary. This story is fun and silly, no copyright violations intended. All belongs to Stephanie Meyer, at the moment.**

Merry Christmas! - or merry advent, whatever, my Christmas present to you is the long awaited squeal to Cullens Behaving Badly- let's hope it's worth it! I haven't written it for a while so it could take a little while to get back "in the swing" (as people say...) anyway, enjoy and please review! xo

**Cullens Still Behaving Badly**

**Chapter 1**

_**Bella's POV**_

_**Bella's POV**_

Smiling I dragged myself away from Edward and dressed in some jeans and a tee from my enormous closet. Then I wandered down stairs to find Renesme, she was already dressed and reading a book on the front steps.

"What you reading love?" Edward asked, shutting the deep blue door behind him.

"Pride and Prejudice!" Nessie smiled back, "Come on! Jake's coming early today." she pulled at my arm.

When we got to the house it was suspiciously quiet and I wondered if the other's were back from hunting yesterday. The house was empty and Jake knocked on the front door loudly, then let himself in.

"Morning," he said to all of us, but swung Nessie around the room in a warm hug, she was fully matured now but I placed my hand on Edward's arm in warning, she was a big girl and knew her daddy's limits though and pulled away.

"Play nice then," I grinned back, "make sure you get yourselves something for breakfast, we're just going hunting for an hour or two. Bye bye," I blew kisses to both Jacob and Nessie, knowing that they too knew exactly what my kisses meant for each of them.

***

Edward and I came back, fully refreshed after our hunt. Hand in hand we crossed the threshold onto the Cullen's lawn and a voice could be heard from inside the house,

"Emmett chinked his glass of, _special_, wine (I don't know how I'll ever get used to that stuff, it was hard enough eating the wedding buffet let alone with that stuff in the glasses surrounding me) and turned towards Edward and myself. It dawned on me that he, as best man, (or partly best man, Edward hadn't the heart to tell Em he only shared the job with Carlisle and Jasper) and needed to make a speech. And, as Em, what ever he chose to share with us, it was bound to make me blush.

"'Dear friends, family,' he said loudly, 'and vampires,' he added, so only those in question and myself, sitting less than a meter from him, could hear, 'as best man,' Edward coughed and shot helpless glances to Jasper and Carlisle, 'am obliged to make a speech for my dear brother and my newest sister today, and I must say, just how happy I am for them.'

"Em's speech was going well, none of the guests had picked up on his vampire comment (thank God mom hadn't or I would never heard the end of it, my new family would be 'erm... a little insane.... I mean...' quote mom) , and even I had struggled to make out the _sexually repressed_. It was a miracle, but I hadn't even turned pale pink yet for all his efforts, although Edward playing with my fingers under the table was having the opposite effect on my heart rate, 'I have plenty to say about our puppy loving Bella, but first I think I should do the decency of embarrassing Edward first.' from across the room I could see Seth and Billy stiffen but Emmett passed them a wink.

"'Myself and Edward first met way back when I still played with bears,' a chorus of 'you still do' came from every supernatural or Cullen, (including myself – I don't know when I'll get used to being Mrs Cullen!), Emmett corrected himself, "or at least when I still let bears win. As the younger of my adopted brothers, Jasper and I, have quite rightly looked on him as our little brother, and boy is he little.' Emmett added stress to his last words, causing even Esme to giggle softly into her napkin, but my guests to simply raise their eye brows and speculate of Em's precise sexuality... I won't write out his whole speech, I'm just so happy Emmett was trying for us, I knew he wouldn't be the one having any troubles adjusting to me as his new sister but all the same..."

Emmett's clear reading voice (an authentic impression of my own reading voice in actual fact) blurred as it dawned on me just what he was reading – my diary of the year before I changed. Edward seemed to realise just as I did and followed me as we took a few split seconds to sprint into the sitting room but Em was one step ahead of us and had the book out of our reach.

"Renesme Carlie Cullen!" I shouted, "where did you find that?"

She shrugged, flopping her perfectly curled hair over one shoulder, "You didn't object that I was reading it earlier, I did tell you what I was reading..." she trailed off.

I turned to Emmett in accusation, "and why may I ask, did you chose to encourage this and read it to the whole family?"

"Why did you expect so little of my speech?" he came back but I stared him out and he cracked, "well it would be unfair not to?"

"How much did you read?" I asked bluntly.

"I skimmed some more but Nessie didn't get anything good," Emmett replied with his head bowed.

"Give it back now," I said sternly, thanking my lucky stars that Nessie hadn't read _anything good_.

He grinned back at me, "But Edward next to me, he is all I ever wanted and all I'll ever need, he's so dreamy and...." he mocked me picking random lines of my messy life book.

I grabbed for the little book and looked for back up from my 'dreamy' Edward but it seemed he was enjoying it.

"Please, Emmett, at least not with Nessie around." I begged.

Em's face lit up, "So I get to read it!"

I agreed smoothly, "but remember our little arm wrestle, yes that one ten years ago, you can read it but no comments may be made as to my personal life..."

His face fell a little, "We should really ask Carlisle about a rematch," he grumbled, "where is he anyway?"

"Ten years ago," Edward suddenly said, then with a small scream, "oh God, not ten years ago!"

I shrugged my shoulders then a card took my attention on the coffee table, it was a really nice table. We'd got it 10 years ago in Forks; actually Esme thought she'd got it 11 years ago in Forks but Emmett had bought this as a replacement... then I realised what Esme told us she'd be doing 10 years ago from now – I snatched the card from the table and read it.

_Hello darlings,_

_Sorry only to leave a card but I didn't think Edward would ever let us go if we told you we were going. Carlisle and I planned another break, not sure how long, this time we'll be checking the papers. Same rules as last time. All our love,_

_Esme and Carlisle._

"Huh," Edward snorted from over my shoulder, "I don't think they've left us all their love judging by the king-sized bed in their suite the last time they went away..."

"Shush!" I tutted, then drawing back my shield I added, _please, under 10's in present._ Edward grinned back at me.

Alice and Jasper ran out from where they had quietly been listening to my 'fascinating' diary in the corner to read the letter. After a few split seconds Jasper cleared the atmosphere and Alice's eyes glazed as she saw forward, "Nothing much to worry about," she shrugged her shoulders, then turned, "although Bella what was the problem with eating my buffet at the wedding?"

I edged carefully, "I don't really remember..."

"Excuse me, whatever excellent news you guys are discussing I haven't the foggiest what you're talking about." Jake whined.

"Oh sorry," I apologized, knowing Nessie didn't know the story either, "Have you heard about the time Emmett swum the county finals naked? Or the time we had a war? Or when we nearly killed the a college teacher? I don't know if you're heard how we found out Alice and I were related, or about the day Jasper cross dressed. You've probably been told about when Alice got high though..."

Jacob and Nessie nodded in unison.

"Well they all happened 10 years ago, the last time Esme and Carlisle went on holiday." I finished, I could hear Emmett laughing quietly to himself just at the memory of Jasmine.

"Whatever the rules were I don't time they were very good then!" Jake snorted.

I presented to look upset, "Jake, the only real rule was that I was in charge!"

Jake rolled his eyes and flipped onto the sofa, "So what do we do now?"

"Same things as we were planning on doing today." Rose said icily to Jake, looking up from her magazine, "I'm going to the sales."

"But babe!" Emmett whined loudly, "We'll be back at school at Monday – can't we have some parent free fun today?"

"But Emmy, this sale's one day," Alice replied quickly, "and you usually find a way to have 'fun' at school anyway."

"Alice, you can go to the sale next time. Em's right, we should all do something fun. Nana and Poppa might be back by then anyway." Nessie decided, nobody would argue after that, because even though she was now fully grown, Nessie had the power to charm the rest of the Cullens.

**What will they do? You will hit review :) **

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	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for reviews and faves! Three weeks till Christmas =D do any of you know what you're getting for Christmas? Anything nice? I don't know :L**

**I'm really sorry any Newton lovers, I couldn't help myself with this chapter– I just love making fun of him :)**

**Disclaimer: all characters belong to the marvellous Stephanie Meyer.**

**Please review, I do actually know who is reading, I know your names and I will hunt you down. Kidding but please do review. xoxo**

**Chapter 2**

_**Bella's POV**_

Emmett squealed, "I want to go to the zoo!"

"WHAT?" Jasper shouted, sending a wave of panic over the house, "Esme doesn't let us go to the zoo for a reason!"

"Oh come on," Edward appealed, "I haven't been since the '50s."

"Since when did you like animals?" I asked him curiously.

"Well, it's always nice to watch them when you know you're not about to kill them," he grinned back simply.

"So can we go to the zoo?" Nessie asked in a sing song way, "I've never been before.."

"Fine," Jasper agreed grudgingly, not wanting to be left out, "but I'm staying in the car."

***

We all crammed into the new seven-seater, this was something Nessie had wanted so we wouldn't all have to squeeze into two even smaller cars. Nessie got everything she wanted, so when she wanted us to wind down the windows, nobody had any objections.

Suddenly the smell of the zoo hit me and Jasper must have felt my self control fly into panic mode,and he started to hyperventilate with me. "You know Jasper, I'm gonna stay in the car with you."

Edward laughed, "Don't those plump, juicy foxes just smell so good, love?" I had recently discovered my favourite blood delicacy was a fox, and so surprise surprise there was foxes galore in this zoo.

"Please come Jazzy," Alice pleaded from the middle seats with Nessie and Rose, "You won't do anything."

"You go then Jasper, you don't need to keep me company." I reassured him.

"Fine, but I'm coming back if it is even slightly weird." he compromised.

When we finally got a parking spot in the busy car park the others climbed out and Alice showed me her hidden stash of magazines under the seats, "If you need anything just pull back your shield and let Edward know, and if it's too much just go home, see you later honey." she winked at me.

I watched the others walk away into the grim day and then turned my attention to an interesting article about fur, which I was usually strongly opposed to but I actually had a really nice new fur coat... Alice made it for me out of an... animal which was dead anyway.

I'd just finished the article when I saw the others heading back towards the car.

I wound the windows back down and stuck my head out, "Hey guys? What's up?"

"Well," Rose explained, "When we got there Jasper got freaked so then Alice saw it would get sunny in a few hours anyway, so we thought we'd go to the zoo another time."

I nodded, confused, "Rose, where's Nessie, Jake and Em?"

Looks of shock crossed their faces, Rose's face looked more annoyed than baffled, "Great, the kids got out."

Alice sighed audibly, "Sorry Bella, but we're going to need you to help us get them back."

I rolled my eyes grumpily, and Jasper sent a strong vibe of calmness my way, apparently he wasn't having as much fun as the others in the zoo either, the smells of the fresh blood was tempting to say the least.

When we got to the ticket office Alice put on her sweetest smile, "Excuse me, have you recently sold tickets to a two tall, dark haired guys and a pretty young woman?"

The man in the office shook his head, "Sorry, I think I'd remember her if she was anywhere near as pretty as you."

Alice smiled kindly, "Well then I'll just have five day passports, I would like access to _all_ areas."

Alice handed us all a ticket and ushered us into a quiet corner in the penguin house, "OK folks, Nessie, Em and Jake hijacked the space simulator, you know they actually wanted to put it in the yard – like Esme would ever let them do that!" she was momentarily distracted with the prospect of a large plastic box in her designer gardens, "But then Em put his hand through the wall and they've run off, while I wait to find out where we can get them we'll just have to enjoy the zoo!"

This was not fun – even penguins smelt nice, "Ugh."

***

_**Emmett's POV**_

The motion sensor was amazing! We had to get one at home, we were even going to have that one from the zoo until Jake dropped it and my hand went through – oops. So before we could say anything Nessie was dragging us across the zebra paddocks to hide.

A freaky guy with a mono brow was taking advantage of the zebras getting so close to the fences and taking millions of pictures. The zebras were actually running away from me and trying to get over the fence; it must be said, I am very scary.

Suddenly it hit me who the scary man was by the zebra fence – it was Mike Newton! The devil struck again... and along the path way trying (unsuccessfully) to cope with four kids was the one and only Jessica Stanley. I waved.

Nessie paused in her tracks, "Do we know them?"

I grinned and winked, "We might know some of them very well... or at least Jasper might."

She nodded, "Well can we save the joyful reunion for when we're not trespassing?"

I agreed but it was too late and Jessica and Mike's frantic offspring spotted us.

"RUN!" Jake screamed, almost morphing in panic.

Eventually we stopped running around because there were some park wardens around, and we didn't need any more trouble so Jake tugged us into the back of a stinking animal house.

"Isn't this fun?" Nessie asked breathlessly.

There seemed to be what looked (and smelt) very much like football-sized droppings on the floor, it was when I looked closer and realised they were both fluffy and making squeaking noises that I started to freak. What were they? What was up with their eyes? Red? Were they carnivore bunnies?

Jake grinned and nodded but I stood there petrified, looking at the tiny white bouncy things.

"What's that?" I asked through gritted teeth.

"It's a wallaby."

I gulped, the wallaby's red eyes stared back at me menacingly and I took a step back into the corner of the house. More and more of the furry things turned round and I was cornered, "HELP!" I screamed.

I lunged towards the door but Jake and Nessie pulled me back by the ankles, "Please," I begged, "I'll do anything, please don't make me stay in here with _them!"_

Nessie laughed softly and put her hand to my face, _oh crap, she was going to tell Rose I was scared of something that bounced._

"Please, don't do that Nessie!" I was sure if I could cry I would.

"Chill Emmett," she laughed, "or the others will find us anyway, then I'm pretty sure they'll kill us if these things don't. So just relax."

Nessie and Jake sat down on the floor and played with the mutant fur balls whilst I perched on the beams of the hut, counting the seconds until the coast would be clear and we could leave the mutant's lair. Every now and then when they saw me watching them, and debating (in my head – out loud? I can never quite see the difference) weather to grab them both on my back and run, scrap being caught and a couple of nights in jail.

Finally they gave me the go ahead and we snuck out the back of the cage, once we were safely out, I realised we left the latch undone.

"Ness?" I asked, with as much calmness as I could muster, "I think they're going to track us down and kill us."

"The zoo won't be too angry, we'll just have to apologize about the space simulator," Nessie replied calmly.

I shook my head, "I meant the _wallabies._"

Jake and Nessie rolled their eyes in synchronisation but when we turned round. There was a large amount of Australian fur behind us, one by one hopping over the fence. I was so sure we, or rather Jake and Nessie could have caught the beasts and put them back in their cage with no problem but humans, quite precisely the Newton-Stanlies were fast approaching.

"When do you know them from?" Nessie asked calmly but still far fasten than a human could comprehend, "as long as they won't see your ageing – or lack of it."

"We knew them in Forks." I said slowly, "that's only what – ten years ago?"

"Oh crap," Jacob said flatly.

I coughed, there were under tens in presents, and I wasn't just talking about Nessie.


End file.
